Self-Care and Self-Acceptance have been buzzing keywords for a while. Instagram posts, social media are loaded with reels on proclamation of self-love through the clips of their travel, clothes..etc; the external extension of the self.
However the void in this self-love is created when internally, one belittles one’s own journey and achievements by comparing it with the success of someone else. Often, a large part of one’s lifetime goes by, leading a life waiting to be applauded or appreciated by others.
Hence the frenzy for likes of their posts on social media.
How does one embrace oneself fully? The key lies in being empathetic towards one-self by developing self-acceptance.
So what is Self-Acceptance?
It’s an unconditional acceptance of the self; being grateful and content with how one looks, feels, behaves; without having the critical self-talk.
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It’s easier to unconditionally love others or accept others, but we forget to embrace the most important entity – ourselves.
Without accepting myself how do I accept others? Without loving myself, forgiving myself, how do I love and embrace others? Self-Acceptance is a total acceptance of who we are, what we look like and feel like.
When the lens of self-love is set, you learn to respect yourself and that opens the door of self-improvement with onus and self-responsibility. Without embracing and recognizing something is broken, how can we think of repairing or improving it?
Self-Recognition is the first step
Once the “recognition” of self happens, an unconditional self-acceptance happens. There are no two conflicting sides left within us; the inner critic merges with the inner transformation mode.
Many a times, precious time, energy and money is lost only in coming to terms with the situation and accepting it fully; situations like – not getting a career break, being told of a lay-off, facing an unexpected silent layoff, relationship break-ups, health challenges or any snowball that life throws at us.
With Self-Acceptance, the mind is open to see the pros and cons as they are – without biases or attachments. It is what it is; the solution which comes out with a free mind space has a high chance of being implemented, as the ownership comes from within. It’s not forced by external or internal demands.
So, when a student (of any age) decides to set aside time to study a subject, one is beating procrastination or the urge to scroll the social media feeds or binge eat or shop online. That time decided by the student has his/her complete buy-in, because the onus comes through Self-Acceptance.
How to build Self-Acceptance
There are various tools – Journaling, Meditation, Reframing using Neuro Linguistic Programming, Storytelling – as a tool to reconstruct your life story, assessments like DISC to understand one’s personality – the behaviour drivers.
Let’s look into some of these tools which you can choose to use:
Journaling : Ever wondered why writing a diary at the end of the day is a must-do activity for many? Well, the thoughts in the mind are the “monkey” within, in their nature.
They cannot sit still, hence what you thought a few minutes ago can be replaced by a flood of another set of thoughts. Many a times the “aha” thoughts pass by if not captured.
Journaling is therapeutic. It’s your inner dialogue captured through written words using tools like a pen and paper or notes on your mobile phone.
When you write, the mind is focussed and not scattered. The “monkey” is tamed. Try writing your goals, wish list, tasks to be done, tasks completed, timelines, wishes…
Do it consistently over a period of time and experience the clarity and focus in the thought process you are choosing to change.
Meditation : The impact of meditation is as true as the sun rising in the east. What it does is that it brings an inner calm and stillness; where the outside chatter of thoughts, opinions, criticism, compliments do not bother. A daily practice of 10 minutes and gradual increase of focussed stillness leads to self acceptance, refreshing and rebooting oneself.
Reframing : Well, words have huge impact and power. What is spoken and How it is spoken is immense and the semantics have a great influence on the speaker and listener. “ I hate oranges”, can be reframed as “ I prefer apples, instead of oranges”. This is an example of reframing.
Using power verbs to begin a sentence while introducing oneself or choosing words carefully in office meetings conveys a lot towards acceptance of self and respect towards others.
The journey within the self is the most crucial and difficult one. Self-acceptance is a step towards self-care. If one is caring towards the self, where is the space to be anything different towards others?
Explore each or more of the above modes and see what you resonate most with – Choose, Change, Refresh, Reboot – voila here’s the new You!!
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