Empowering OneSelf – Designing one’s Personal Journey through Life

Empowering OneSelf – Designing one’s Personal Journey through Life

by Ragini Rao

Psychotherapist, Trainer and Life Coach


Life brings forth different situations at various points of time and puts the onus on us to take decisions. One says or acts in response, often based on a certain behaviour style that has become one’s personality.These responses then start defining the next stage of this journey called Life. Whether at work or in personal life, our ability to respond to situations appropriately and empowering oneself for that, is therefore key to our happiness and satisfaction in the journey.

Some typical scenarios where our responses affect the direction life takes are as follows.

Scenario 1 : A large Enterprise; large number of functional verticals; each vertical with multiple departments. Perfect case for a need for alignment of goals, cooperation and team work to ensure the enterprise’s goals are met.It also has potential for multiple inter-personal issues; intra departmental, inter-departmental personal friction and conflicts.

Scenario 2 : A startup; young, enthusiastic entrepreneurs get together to build a new business; bring in a few key people with functional expertise for sales, product development etc. Soon find clash of ideas, beliefs, working styles, coming from different experiences or lack of adequate experience.

Scenario 3: A married couple, both working; or, one working and the other managing home; kids happen; issues of managing priorities, inter-personal friction and conflicts on how to handle life’s issues; parenting and ensuring quality upbringing of children.

Scenario 4: A person who is looking beyond managing the present; looking to evolve into being capable of doing something more with life.

Different scenarios, similar needs

Managing inter-personal relationships, looking within self to evolve into a better person, understanding others. These are the common elements of all the above scenarios.How does one manage this?

One way – just keep moving in and out of situations and learn with each experience. That’s the way most people have been doing; so we also continue down the same path.

Unfortunately, by the time people learn from experiences and really evolve to realise the value of being above petty issues, a lot of time has already passed. Often people are beyond the age of 50, by the time they realise the need to let go and move on. They then seek moving onto higher levels as persons, get into reading books on personal development, ancient scriptures or listening to discourses.

But it is already too late. A lot of time has lapsed and a lot of unnecessary hardship and friction experienced.

The other way– take a pause at an early stage in life; understand oneself and others; start working on a personal empowering journey parallel to the journey of building a career or advancing in personal life. While day to day living takes time to teach us some hard lessons, understanding why we do what we do and why others are the way they are, can make life easier to cruise through.

A lot of time and energy that’s otherwise lost in confused or thoughtless actions, conflicts and ego clashes could be better utilised for healthier relationships and more productive activities.Career and life planning works out better since there is more clarity about oneself, one’s real needs, interests and capabilities.

Transactional Analysis – Understanding Oneself and Others

Transactional Analysis is one such framework, that is empowering millions of people around the world understand themselves and others and change themselves in order to make the most out of every relationship and life itself; including moving away from people and situations which hurt.

Dr.Eric Berne, a Psychiatrist explained human behaviour through his theory of Transactional Analysis in the1960s. The theory explains some very deep truths about human behaviour in an easy to understand framework.

It works on the following principles

  • All human beings are born OK
  • All of us have the capacity to think
  • All of us have the capacity to decide our own destiny and these decisions can be changed

The goal of Transactional Analysis – Autonomy of the individual

Transactional Analysis works on the following premise

  • Every individual has three ego states in his/her personality – the Parent, the Adult and the Child.
  • When we think, speak or act we do so from one of these three ego-states.
  • Our choice of ego-states depends on our past learning in life, right from childhood onwards.
  • When we interact with others, our choice of the ego state from which we communicate, defines the response we are likely to get. In turn, that decides if the communication is being accepted well or not.

The theory then goes on to explain how to delve into our belief systems acquired through the learning in life in order to bring about a positive change in our behaviour and relationships.

Transactional Analysis – Empowering, Non-Threatening

Personal development programs based on the Transactional Analysis framework are conducted by professionals certified by the International Transactional Analysis Association. The programs start at a basic level for self-development and move on to help people become professionals in the fields of Counselling, Psychotherapy, Education and Organisation using the framework of Transactional Analysis.

The advantage of Transactional Analysis lies in its simplicity and non-threatening way of educating individuals. The concepts are explanations about people’s behaviour and their life’s experiences and enable us to therefore explore every relationship and opportunity in a positive and confident way.

So, start the process of self-discovery as early as possible in life and empower yourself to design your journey through life.

Please do leave your comments at the bottom and do share with others if you like this article.

Upcoming Events

  • Personal Development

    The Dance of Culture

    by The South Asian Association of Transactional Analysts (SAATA)

    SAATA and ITAA invite you to The Dance of Culture, a conference on Transactional Analysis, Dr.Eric Berne's theory of Social Psychology. Understand concepts of Personal Growth and Change. Interact with professionals from 15 countries.

    1. date 17th to 19th August, 2018 Inauguration on evening of 16th August, 2018

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1 Comment on "Empowering OneSelf – Designing one’s Personal Journey through Life"

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Chithra Vijay
Chithra Vijay

hi Ragini, I could well relate to the 50+ aspect 😀 Generally I don’t have regrets, but there are two wonderful gifts I have received in life and at times wish I had them earlier on – one is Love and the other is TA; however, very grateful for both 🙏